


Let me Touch You Where Your Heart is

by Onederland



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Baekhyun is bad at feelings, Coming Untouched, Feelings, Gay Sex, I tried to do my best, I'm Sorry, I'm bad at writing but I had to do it, I'm bad at writing dialogue, I'm sorry if this is not what you expected, It's my first fanfic, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, One Night Stand, Oral, Riding, Smut, The world needs more baektao, baektao, based on temporary fix by one direction, every one night stand fic you have read is here, ok? don't judge me, so cliche, thank you if you read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 01:18:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13377069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onederland/pseuds/Onederland
Summary: He knew it was a dangerous game, that at the end the joke could be on him, he knew it but nothing really stopped him from keep playing.





	Let me Touch You Where Your Heart is

**Author's Note:**

> This is.the first story I finish and I'm so excited about it. I started writing this back in 2016. I'm the queen of procrastination.  
> Hope you like it :)

Saying they were friends with benefits was not totally a fact, considering they were not even friends.

Their casual meetings occurred from time to time late at night after a good party or after a frustrating test that would keep Baekhyun awake and end up calling Zitao to come over his place because maybe all he needed was a temporal relief.That is how all started.

The first time they officially met was at a party at Junmyeon’s house near campus.

Junmyeon as one of his best friends and leader of the Delta Zeta fraternity — or douchebags, as he personally likes to call it, nothing against Junmyeon though—, besides of being the one in charge of humiliate seniors and freshmen with his outstanding grades, academic achievements, and natural charisma, he was in charge of throwing the best parties in his rich parents’ four times bigger house than the saturated frat one.

When Zitao caught Baekhyun’s eye he was standing near the counter with another guy who at times could get closer to him and whisper in Zitao’s ear, and perhaps Zitao was very considerate and kind because even when he seemed far from comfortable with the closeness and not interested in what the other guy was talking about, he never let a grimace appear on his face.

Maybe it was just that or maybe it was the fact that Baekhyun was starting to feel all the beverage going straight to his head that when he realized Zitao was sending him curious looks as Baekhyun was holding his stare deeply and obvious on them, he stood up from the sofa he was sat in at the other side of the room and walked past him while tipping back the last of his drink, placing his cup at the counter just beside where Zitao and the stranger were at, glancing at them and never leaving that playful smirk on his face.

And just as he turned and made his way towards the mass of people dancing at the center of the room he could see from the corner of his eye Zitao walking just behind him.

  
He knew who Zitao was; Chinese boy one year younger than him, sometimes quiet, sometimes all laugh and smiles, at times childish, shy but loud with actions, so many mutual friends that he could see him around campus partying in the same places sometimes or going out with their group of friends, so he was not a stranger at all.

And maybe Baekhyun could find himself every now and then staring at him because yes, he really looked like an interesting guy walking here and there with dark leather clothing, bleached styled hair and outrageous earrings. All loud laughter, heavy Chinese accent, and tough look. And yes, maybe he thought he was kinda cool.

So when he felt a pair of hands on his hips and a warm body leaning against him from behind as he was moving his body along to the beat of the music, he couldn’t help but feel a little proud of himself.

Soon Baekhyun found himself enjoying the delicious friction of Zitao’s hands moving all along from his tights to his waist while pressing his body on Baekhyun’s with an overwhelming pace that made Baekhyun rock his body backwards, almost unconsciously, while reaching back his right hand to touch Zitao’s nape and holding tightly onto Zitao’s hand near his crotch with the other, trying to maintain the feeling Zitao was giving him.

Baekhyun felt like losing himself when soft puffs of air against his ear were leaving Zitao’s lips, feeling drunk by the pure desire of touching freely the tan skin underneath Zitao’s loose white t-shirt.

“Let’s get out of here” Zitao’s sudden husky voice whispering to him made him let out a soft moan, and that was the approval Zitao was looking for, because just when Baekhyun tried to recover himself a little bit from all the sensations, he realized he was being guided outside by Zitao’s hand that just one moment ago was driving him crazy when placed near his now needed half hard cock.

Just as soon as they reached the street, got into a taxi, and he managed to remember the address, he climbed over Zitao, placing his legs on either side of him as he sat on his lap; running his hands desperately while slipping them underneath the hem of his t-shirt, absorbed in the sensation of Zitao’s wet lips on the skin of his neck, hands on the back of his tights, and insistent hips rubbing against his ass.

By the time they finally could open the door of Baekhyun’s room back in his apartment, struggling between intertwined legs and sloppy kisses, Zitao was breathless; hands over Baekhyun trying to unbutton his jeans and slide the zipper down while walking backward and throwing things on his way.

Baekhyun didn’t really seem to care because as soon as they reached his bed he left himself fall backward, throwing aside papers and books that were over it.

Baekhyun was laying there, forearms supporting his weight while looking at Zitao with a playful smirk and eyes full of desire waiting for him, seeing the fire in Zitao’s eyes staring back at him, nothing remaining of the serious, quiet, funny boy he could see around but the attractive and now breathless guy from the party unclothing him with his eyes.

Now he could notice how well that smokey eye and dark leather clothes suited him, but right now honest to god all he wanted to do was to take them out.

And it was like they had done this a hundred time before as he realized the ease with which Zitao climbed over him, pushed his jeans off his hips and kissed him desperately with more tongue and teeth that were necessary earning a low groan coming from the deep of the elder’s throat.

As arousal was feeling like burning his body Baekhyun began moving his hips upwards erratically against Zitao’s leg as it was a call, almost a pleading, so desperate for reaching some friction to help to ease the pressure taking all his body.

When Zitao noted this, his hands on his one-night stand boy’s waist suddenly became firm holding him on place and an obscene sound came from their wet lips as he let go of Baekhyun’s, “take it off” he mumbled against them, hot breath leaving his mouth.

As soon as Baekhyun heard that he sat straight on the bed, arms reaching the hem of his own shirt and lifting it up over his head meanwhile Zitao was trying to get rid of Baekhyun’s boxers and jeans, which were still stuck on his knees; just after that he did the same with his own.

Baekhyun could appreciate the golden tan of Zitao’s skin, upper body slightly bent forward and flexed arms emphasizing his defined features contrasting beautifully with Baekhyun’s pale and skinny body.

Soon Zitao’s lips were swollen and sore from all the biting he was giving them when trying to repress all the heated moans fighting to leave his mouth, both hands tangled on Baekhyun’s hair as the later was planting open-mouthed kisses all over his soft skin from his chest to his pelvis, leaving a trail of saliva behind while gently sliding a hand to brush against his nipples, earning a groan from him.

Baekhyun raised his head to reach Zitao’s lips once again taking his bottom lip with his teeth and sucking on it, Zitao slid a hand between them taking Baekhyun needed erection, he lifted his gaze just to become mesmerized by the image just in front of him; a sweaty Baekhyun, eyes shut, and half-open mouth looking like he could just come from a tight fist around his cock.

“Fuck, Tao” he said licking his own lips and humming softly.

By this time Zitao had already roll Baekhyun over, all his body weight pressing him against the sheets and bare cocks brushing against each other.

Reluctantly Zitao stopped rocking his body and pulled away to search for a condom he had in the pocket of his jeans that were now messily lying on the floor. Meanwhile, Baekhyun reached out blindly for the bottle of lubricant hidden somewhere near his bed and handled it to Zitao as he gave him a quick peck on the lips.

Soon soft moans and groans and the indecent sound of Zitao’s wet fingers coated with lub against Baekhyun’s rim were all that could be heard in the room. Baekhyun’s tight walls sucking Zitao’s fingers and hands clenching onto the sheets, hissing when Zitao reached his most sensitive spot.

“Oh god” Baekhyun cried reaching to grip at Zitao’s shoulders, nails digging into his skin

“you like that, babe? I’m gonna fuck you so good” Zitao teased kissing the tip of Baekhyun’s cock and inserting a third finger inside him while gently taking his balls with the other hand and started massaging them. Seeing Baekhyun arching his body while biting hard on his lips was much more than the answer he needed. However, because of his now lost ability to formulate words all Baekhyun was able to do was to nod his head quickly as all the pleasure caused by Zitao’s hands was flooding his entire body and leaving him breathless.

A cry leaving Baekhyun’s lips when feeling the loss of Zitao’s fingers inside him was replaced by a throaty moan when Zitao’s thick condom-covered cock thrusted completely inside of him abruptly.

A “You’re so tight” whisper came from Zitao’s parted wet lips as Baekhyun’s tight walls were clenching around Zitao's erection, barely adjusting to the intrusion.

Zitao’s force pushing Baekhyun’s body upwards with each thrust, head almost hitting the headboard and hands coming behind him to reach some support to hold onto as his body was constantly rocked forward against it, firm white fingertips curled into the slats.

Baekhyun’s locked open mouth was letting out loud noises as Zitao’s boney hips were jerking forward into him slapping against the flushed flesh of his ass cheeks.

Zitao’s hot mouth was leaving red marks of bruises all along Baekhyun’s collarbone and hummed with satisfaction after biting down on his neck and sucking hard on the flesh there, making Baekhyun arch his back and dig his nails into his wide sweat-stick back.

“You feel so fucking good, mhm” Baekhyun had his legs locked around Zitao’s lower back and his insistent mouth was demanding for Zitao’s lips as his still untouched dick was hitting against their stomachs with every hard thrust of Zitao.

“Shit, I’m gonna—” soon he felt a pulsing pleasure setting down on his balls and his toes started to curl when the wave of his release hit hard on him, high pitched whimpers emitting from his throat, sounds that were helplessly leaving his body; Zitao’s body had such an effect on him, he realized, making him either scream or leaving him without the power of emitting any sound.

His glassy eyes full of lust were still locked onto Zitao’s stare as he keeps milking himself through his orgasm, shooting ropes of white over his flushed rising and falling chest still fighting for air and shaking legs falling heavily into the mattress. Zitao let himself fall over him with all his weight, Baekhyun closing his eyes and hissing at the contact of Zitao’s hot skin pressing against his still sensitive cock.

Baekhyun soft laugh filled the room, a hand reaching to brush his sticky bangs with sweat off his forehead

“Holy shit. I wish I had done this before, I cannot believe how many fucks I have missed” his eyelids falling closed again and humming when Tao still inside of him moved settling himself between his legs while lightly massaging Baekhyun’s sore thighs.

Zitao leaned over him, his still hard cock digging deeper into his sensitive hole causing a sharp intake of breath from him. Zitao kissed him hard before smirking against his wet red mouth “well, I guess we can always make up for lost time” that being said he started fucking him again; this time beginning at a slower but deep pace, but quickly increasing his pace as Baekhyun, holding Zitao tightly by his hips, started emitting soft squeaks and he found himself amazed one more time at the erotic shocked sounds seeping from the pale white skin boy’s mouth.

Zitao’s both hands already cramped resting on either side of Baekhyun head while rolling his hips didn’t give up, not when Baekhyun’s “keep going, keep going” pleads sounding similar to muffled moans and cries were filling his ears and sending him over the edge.

His hips jerking at an offbeat speedy pace and thighs trembling as his orgasm crashed through him, head coming to rest on Baekhyun’s chest and groaning as his cum filled the condom.

Baekhyun was having too much to handle, his already hypersensitive body from his previous orgasm squirming underneath Zitao and pushing him over the edge, coming hard untouched for the second time that night, harsh panting getting caught in his throat and writhing full of desperation for a little bit of friction against his cock, come pooling in his stomach as he rode out his orgasm, jaw tight and hands balled into the mattress.

Never had he come that hard before in all his life, he thought.

And while Baekhyun was laying in his bed still feeling his body like jelly while watching Zitao changing back into his clothes, maybe now all he was thinking about was on repeating it again some other time.

And Just before Zitao got out of his dorm, standing before the door, hand laying on the knob, he turned with a cheeky smile and said: “see you around”.

 

And because of that sweaty rough night, at 10 am the next morning he could still feel just exactly like he did post orgasm last night; so tired, so sleepy, so dizzy, so drunk, and, unbelievable, still horny. That few hours of sleep were not enough to recover himself.

So, at break time when he met his friends at the cafeteria as he let his head rest carelessly against the wood of the table, he didn’t need to lift up his face to _see_ the pity showing in his friends’ faces and the laugh wanting to leave their insides.

“What’s the matter with you” the annoying voice of Chanyeol rumbled near his left ear “did a truck ran over you? “ he asked mussing up his hair,

“you mean _someone”_ Jongdae told him with a small chuckle.

“Shut up” he rubbed his eyes lazily and swept his dark long hair from his eyes, watching the dickheads he call friends sauntering straight to the chairs in front of him

“where were you yesterday? you left” Jongdae pointed out taking a seat.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes “I always leave”,

“you never leave that early” he declared.Chanyeol arched his brow and glared at him with obvious amusement with the situation, bending over the table while asking “who was this time?”

That question made him sound like he was a whore, which was not _totally_ true; it was just that he enjoyed bringing home people he met at parties who, by the way, were not _t_ _otally_ strangers — he had seen all of them at least one time around campus!—, just to have a little bit more fun.

It just was that college life was not that easy, taking into account all the stress and pressure he suffered due to all the tests and assignments, so no one could really blame him for considering sex the best leisure activity to relax. 

“I don’t know, some freshman I guess. I don’t even remember his face” he said laughing it off while texting random shit on his phone trying to look nonchalant about it.

“Whatever,” said Jongdae changing the subject, knowing that no more information was going to leave Baekhyun’s mouth “tonight we are going to Sehun’s dorm —Chanyeol’s girlfriend” he corrected “to give moral support to our friend here,” he said smirking, patting Chanyeol’s back

“He’s not my girlfriend” he reproached shoving away Jongdae's arm

“yeah, you just wanna fuck him” Baekhyun told him with a grin.

Chanyeol looked at him with fake shock saying that he didn’t want to get into his pants because “Oh my god! not everyone is just like you, Baekhyun” but the things is that Chanyeol and Sehun have been dancing around each other for months and last night they had kissed on Junmyeon’s bathroom and maybe touched a little bit, but the poor Sehun had said he didn’t want to rush things so he hopefully expects tonight they finish what they started the night before, no matter Baekhyun and Jongdae will be there tonight just next door because “that’s what friends are for” he defended with a naughty smirk appearing in his face.

“You’re disgusting” Jongdae laughed.

“Anyways, I’m not going. I’m full of unfinished assignments to work on” he said rubbing the back of his neck, he could already feel a headache coming on “but yeah, have fun. Use condom!”

Later that night when checking his phone after the essay he had done so reluctantly, followed by a cold shower because he was too tired to even try to jerk himself off, he saw a text message from Jongdae saying explicitly  “Help me!!!!!1”.

Crawling into bed he let out a small chuckle “What happened?” he texted back.

In less than a minute he received another text message “I’m going home now, had to leave before they ended up fucking in front of me. So awkward”

 

That awkwardness could be felt in his own flesh days later when Chanyeol dragged them to Sehun’s dormitory late at night.

“I fucking hate this,” Baekhyun stated dryly. He was protesting after Jongdae had killed his avatar _again,_ dropping the controller on the floor with annoyment.

They were sat on the floor in front of the tv screen; bright light coming from the tv illuminating the dark room and noises of wet lips and giggles owed to Chanyeol and Sehun’s unashamed make-out session diminished — thank god—  by the loud gunshots noise coming from the precious video game console.

At least Chanyeol had been considered enough to buy snacks and beer for them, “and you guys are not helping” Baekhyun said in Chanyeol and Sehun’s direction.

“It’s not my fault that you are the worst at playing video games” Jongdae replied instead, chucking around a mouthful of potato chips, not even waiting for a reply from the couple that he was sure were not even paying attention to him.

The room’s door opened abruptly startling him a little bit, making all of them turn to look to the tall man entering the room. The light of the tv was bright enough to blind him, unable to see him properly, but there inside of the dark room he could notice the set of silver earrings shining in the dark. He greeted Jongdae and Chanyeol with a smile as soon as he walked through the room towards his own bed, sending a polite nod towards Baekhyun in the process. At that distance, he could see better his black leather jacket, ripped jeans and yellowish hair, and yeah he recognized him now. Shit.

“Sorry, man” Chanyeol offered, moving backpacks and chip bags that were over the bed that apparently was Zitao’s.

“No problem” he assured him grinning, taking off his shoes and lying carelessly on his bed; cellphone held in hands and the bright light illuminating his face.

It had been almost a week since the last time he saw him, it was like the earth had swallowed him, and Baekhyun had started to wonder if maybe the reason of his uncontrollable boners had been real or if he had dreamed it all and honestly this was the last place he had expected to see him again.

But now it seems obvious, wherever Sehun was, it was Zitao too.

Now being the two of them in the same room felt different from all those wet dreams and Baekhyun couldn’t help but look up on occasion to steal a glance from him but Zitao hadn’t looked at him again since that weird greeting; no smile, not even awkwardness around him, acting like the boy he had fucked wasn’t in the same room as him.

The thing is that being around someone whom he had fucked with had never been a problem to him before because yeah, we fucked, it was cool, and that’s all, but for some annoying reason, it was bothering him right now.

If you see him from another perspective If you looked at him closely, he was not really _that_ good looking. I mean, he looked like a murderer and he had very prominent eye bags and that blonde hair didn’t completely fit with his tan skin.

Besides, if you ask Baekhyun, their last intercourse hadn’t been _that_ extraordinary, he kinda disliked him now.

He sighed and, taking advantage of the other ones now playing video games after Baekhyun had stated he was done trying to survive in a video game in which he obviously had no skills, he stood up and got out of the room.

He took his phone from his back pocket, leaning casually against the wall next to the door and started messaging Kyungsoo; it was never a bad moment to bother him a little bit. The corridor was almost dark, slightly lit by some dim bulbs at the end of it; sounds coming from the tv inside almost killing the outside silence.

There was a sound almost inaudible, a click from the door at his left being closed and a man standing there leaning against the door frame, arms folded and gaze on him, deep and dangerous.

“bored?” Baekhyun asked, not even bothering to look at him.

Zitao adjusted himself against the frame, facing him “I thought I could find more fun here”.

He would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought  Zitao maybe didn’t remember him, but then again seeing him outside the dorm in the dark of the corridor Baekhyun wouldn’t mind helping him just in case he didn’t have the memories clearly in mind.

Since he has never been the kind that beat around the bush, nothing stopped him to take a step forward, placing his weight again the door and asking “would you want me to help?”

“I insist” Zitao answered smirking and getting closer to him, he took Baekhyun gently by the upper arms and place his back completely against the door pressing him flush against it, looking at Baekhyun’s lips and licking his own before closing the distance and brushing slightly their lips before kissing him deeply. Baekhyun opened his mouth allowing Zitao’s tongue to lick into it and swallow his sounds —and his previous words and the remained of his dignity—, placing his hands around his neck as Zitao grabbed him by the waist and pressed his groin against Baekhyun’s tight.

Zitao kissed the corner of his lips then started descending by his jaw and the back of his ear until reaching where his neck joins his shoulders and biting there, earning a breathy yelp and a content hum from Baekhyun.

Zitao not only looked like a murderer-ninja-or-something-similar, he also had the skills since now his hands had reached down to the hem of Baekhyun’s jeans and palmed him so well just before unzipping his pants and placing his tight hot fingers tightly around his dick.

“Be quiet” he breathed out against his lips when his dark gaze, pupils so wide, met Baekhyun’s just before lowering himself on his knees.

Baekhyun was speechless, so aroused awaiting the next move and Zitao’s fingers were sending a strong twist of pleasure taking over his body as he started to stroke his shaft in a slow motion.

Baekhyun had his lips pressed tightly together, biting his lips in moments when he tried to avoid the moans from escaping his mouth because they were just outside the doom, pressed against the door where literally anyone could get out of their dorms and see them, and damn it, his friends could open the door at the most unexpected moment and for some crazy reason just that simple thought aroused him even more. Unfortunately he made the mistake of looking down at the right moment to be witness of how Zitao dragged his tongue against the length of his dick, moving his sloppy and pink tongue along the bulge of his vein, and observe how the damn boy even had the nerve to smirk at him while he placed the flat of his tongue against his slit as he licked at the gathered precome pooling there and sucking so wet and hot against his head. Zitao had a fascinating mouth and tongue and fingers and lips and everything about him was fascinating, so much that was leaving Baekhyun breathless.

His big hands were placed on Baekhyun’s hips keeping him in place just as strongly as Baekhyun’s right hand was tangled in his blonde hair as Zitao was bobbing his head up and down.

When he started to feel his release getting close he threw back his head against the door as his left hand came to grip tightly at the doorknob searching for some support, his fingers ached and they were white as his grip was so strong knowing that a wrong move could open the door and make them fall inside.  Arching his back and locking his gaze with Zitao’s one more time he let out a helpless moan and then his mouth was locked open incapable of emitting a single sound anymore as he milked his orgasm out of him filling Zitao’s mouth. As expected Zitao’s mouth never left his cock, sucking him clean and jerking him off with his mouth until the last wave of release hit on him. He let go of his cock while licking at his own swollen lips and standing up with a pleased smile he closed the distance and kissed him deeply humming and making him taste himself on Zitao’s tongue.

Baekhyun let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and smiling — because wow, that had been so reckless and exciting and he was still with his jeans on his knees— he moved away from the door and pulled on his pants as Zitao fixed his hair just before stepping inside the dorm again. They didn’t say anything, they didn’t need it; their gazes, content smiles, and pure carnal satisfaction was all they really needed. He stayed outside the dorm for a while waiting for his face to get a little bit less red and for his sex-smell sweat to vaporize. Just before getting inside he saw a new message from KyungSoo which he ignored as it was not more necessary to bother him, not anymore when there was something more interesting on the other side of the door.

Minutes later when he entered to the room, he saw Zitao lying on his bed once again with his cellphone on hands and the bright light illuminating his now red and swollen lips, Baekhyun smiled to himself and couldn’t evade feeling the heat still on his red face.

When we looked up he noticed Jongdae watching him with a curious look on his face but said nothing, he was still sat on the pillows on the floor in front of the tv, potato chips and can of beer on his lap and no signs of Chanyeol and Sehun. Baekhyun dropped himself down beside Jongdae taking the controller on hands. “They’re in the bathroom,” said Jongdae just before he asked. If he paid special attention he could hear hushes and chuckles coming from the bathroom (what were they? Hormonal teenagers?) that everyone tried to ignore with the sound of guns and punches coming from the tv screen, probably that’s why Jongdae had the volume even louder than the last time, trying so hard to focus on the game.

Fifteen minutes later when the shameless couple decided to get out of the small bathroom and started chatting like nothing had happened everyone joined them in their act because it was better like that.

After a while with all the attempts of Chanyeol to try to include Zitao more in their conversation with his loud noises and laugh and bad jokes, laughing he asked him to tell Jongdae and Baekhyun how they had met because “it was so fucking epic”.

Zitao clearing his throat said “I accidently saw you blowing Sehun” he had this weird cute flush on his cheeks and his voice was smoother this time, so soft just like the look in his eyes and his smile, and yeah it was weird to see him flushing when talking about something related to blowjobs instead of flushing for the act itself and then again there was Chanyeol’s loud, so loud laugh and creepy smile like he had said the funniest thing ever — seriously there was something bad with him— which earned him a rather hard hit on the upper arm by Sehun.

Seriously, he didn’t know so much about Sehun but he looked like a nice healthy guy so what was he doing with a guy so sick and weird like his friend?

At 2 am after they helped Sehun to clean up a little bit the mess on the floor they decided it was time to get back to their apartment but not before witnessing Chanyeol almost eating up Sehun’s face.

It felt just like a déjà vu when looking at Zitao in the eyes for the last time of the night he heard him say “see you around”.

And yes, in fact, he did see him around. Everywhere.

It was like Baekhyun had unlocked something because after that night he could see Zitao near the dorms, at the campus cafeteria, with some of his friends, around campus, at every party.

And how could Baek stop imagining himself moaning under Zitao when he was literally everywhere?

And it wasn’t that it bothers him, actually he was enjoying seeing him from afar, kind of like he used to do before but now that he was more self-conscious of Zitao’s presence he could pay more attention to his well-shaped body, his nice ass, his strong arms, his cat-like smile and that golden skin — he swears it would look so much better from a near distance with the full light of the day and not only darkness like he remembers.

But how could he approach him? It was not like he could tap his shoulder and say something like ‘hey do you remember me? We have mutual friends, we hang out in the same places and oh, I’m the guy you fucked so good that night and casually gave head to against the dorm door, what’s up’. Well, he kinda did.

The next time he saw him was in ‘a small meeting’ in Luhan and Minseok apartment, furniture pushed against the walls and people drunk and dancing with each other.

And as if it was obvious, almost naturally, their bodies encountered by themselves on the dance floor; the flow of the music bringing their bodies together like magnets, limbs intertwined. “I didn’t expect you to be there,” Baekhyun said  “in Sehun’s dorm, I mean” he added one second later, breath already hitching, bodies rocking with the beat. I didn’t know you were roommates”.

Zitao’s soft touch on Baekhyun’s lower back lingered there for a second until he moved his hands to grip on Baekhyun’s waist, guiding his body with the music “you’ve seen me there before, though”. Oh. “you were there with Chanyeol and Jongin” Zitao stated, sounding more like a question. _Oh_.

“Oh. Yeah, right. That, that time” Zitao only chuckled but said nothing “yeah I remember now” Zitao shakes his head but smiles anyway.“This is, like, the third time I have had a proper talk with you since I know you, you know, without taking into account our last encounters” he pointed out.

Baekhyun’s mouth suddenly felt dry, fingers trembling, craving for holding onto something more than layers of cloth “maybe you could tell me more about it” he promoted, licking his lips instinctively already savoring what _might_ happen next, a chill running down his spine “what about going back to my place”.

“What for” Zitao asked with a little smirk appearing on his face. Such a tease. Baekhyun wanted so, so bad to roll his eyes but not as bad as he wanted to have Zitao on his knees right now. And Baekhyun, in a moment of recklessness put their bodies closer and whispered against Zitao’s mouth, noses brushing against each other “so you can fuck me again”.

 

When Baekhyun woke up hours later it was beginning to dawn and shit. Zitao must go, _now._ Neither Jongdae nor Chanyeol, especially Chanyeol, should see Zitao here. Not that he really cared that they saw Zitao, but it was Zitao, Sehun’s friend, Chanyeol’s boyfriend’s friend and knowing just as he knows Chanyeol he _knows_ what weird stupid shit he can think of doing, and no, thanks.

So he was very pleased and relieved that the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was that Zitao was seated on the bed putting on his shoes.

“Morning” Zitao said, giving him a little grin. Fuck. He looked really attractive, and appealing and _inviting_ even with his sleepy face and disheveled face, and fuck.

“you leaving?” Baekhyun cleared his throat looking away and settling himself better underneath the sheets, gripping them with all his willpower to not pull Zitao down over him again.

“Yeah” he stood up, cell phone in hand and looking a little bit unsure “yeah, so I was thinking about, you know, I was wondering— can I get your number?” Uhm yeah, no. What. “You know, to talk and hang out sometime and that stuff” _as if._

Please don’t take him wrong, Zitao looked like a nice guy but Baekhyun doesn't do dates, he doesn't hang out, he doesn’t do _stuff_ unless it involves sex. But, okay, Zitao was attractive and was so good between the sheets and maybe he could call him one of these days because midterms were close and he needed a distraction so why not.

So if you see it in a different light, he wasn’t really hurting anyone if he just wanted to steal another couple of Zitao’s nights. So nothing really stopped him from saying “Yeah. Yeah, why not”.

As expected, Baekhyun started calling Zitao whenever he was stressed or needed a distraction. In every party they met they ended up fucking. And because he always expected to see Zitao there, it kind of started being like a routine for them; _casually_ meeting on parties and going together to Baekhyun or Zitao’s place.

Every time their bodies met was better than the last time, Zitao’s teeth grazing and latching over the barely visible mark of hickeys he left on Baekhyun’s skin the last time, breaking the skin again and soothing the area with his tongue. Always getting better and leaving him wanting for more.

Baekhyun even stopped sleeping with other guys. Okay, but what if he still did it, what if he was still sleeping with a couple of them from time to time? there was nothing wrong with that, it was not like they were exclusives or something. It was enough with their quick blowjobs in the bathroom, and fucking against his dorm door when Sehun was not there; intense kisses on the hallways when everyone was already on their classrooms, and risky kisses against the library’s shelves, but never really talking or spending time together more than was necessary. They didn’t need it.

 

Baekhyun felt his eyes getting closed with every boring sentence he tried to read from the book lying in front of him. He was on the library working on a paper with Kyungsoo and an uncharacteristically quiet Chanyeol due to an approaching deadline.

When he lifted his face he was startled to see Zitao, Jongin, and Sehun a few tables away, same faces of boringness and despair. Chanyeol had probably not seen them, too sunk up in his misery, otherwise, he would already be beside Sehun bitching about how much he hated his life right now.

Baekhyun yawned quietly and stretched his arms over his head, catching Zitao’s attention, Zitao’s tired eyes met him but he smiled anyway.

Baekhyun quietly stood up, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol barely blinking an eye. He walked through the aisles, diving himself into the shelves finding Zitao at the end of it. He was decided to throw his arms around his neck, to close the distance between them connecting as if they were magnets, wanting to kiss the tiredness away from them, but— “hey” an annoying sleepy voice rumbled through his ears making him freeze in his track quickly taking the first book at his reach “what are you guys doing here” Chanyeol said, walking towards them like a sleepwalker, dragging his feet and yawning loudly

“I’m helping him to search for a book. Where’s Saussure? this is not the right aisle, I’m gonna search over there” Baekhyun shoved the book in Zitao’s chest, the poor boy barely catching it in his arms, still too startled.

“Okay” answered Chanyeol dragging his fingers against the spine of the books on the shelf while reading the titles, too oblivious for his own good “oh my god, I could lay right here and sleep for all the eternity” he mumbled yawning loudly again, taking a book and searching for the index and reading it while rubbing the drowsiness from his eyes, when he lifted his head to look up Zitao was still there looking at him, Chanyeol frowned for a second opening his mouth to say something until Baekhyun appeared behind him “here you are!” he said, giving Zitao a book

“I didn’t know you were friends,”  Chanyeol said, looking questionably at them.

“We’re not. C'mon let’s finish up this fucking paper” he smiled, throwing an arm around Chanyeol’s shoulders and turning them back to their table.

“What the hell am I gonna do with this” Zitao murmured, staring at the books in his hands.

 

Yes, Chanyeol was the most clueless and stupid person he knew, but he really should have expected something from him, he should have _known_ better. He wasn’t sure how he had fallen in Chanyeol’s tricks, but he somehow had convinced him to go out to eat because he was a good friend and wanted to treat him with some greasy food, but somehow he ended in a restaurant where Sehun and Zitao were waiting for them.

“I just thought it was a good idea going out together since we’re all friends and I’m _sure_ you get along very well”.

Zitao ends up sat next to him and this time there are not touches or kisses just awkwardness and weird stares, catching themselves staring at each other out of the corner of their eyes.

“I didn’t really know a lot about you but Sehun said you like to rap and I’m pretty sure I’ve heard you before when you were totally wasted in some party”

Zitao laughed shyly covering his mouth “yeah, that’s not something I would like to recall, but yeah I do. Sehun told me you also liked to produce, I like playing piano and guitar tho” Chanyeol had the biggest smile he had seen on his face, “yeah, we could do something together one day. Baek, I’m hurt you never told Tao about your best friend ” Chanyeol said with a disappointed voice turning to look at Baekhyun but he was very busy staring at his fries

“I didn’t know he was interested in music either” he muttered against his straw before sipping from it.

“Well, at least I hope you have told him that you sing”

“Oh, really?” Zitao said looking at him briefly “we have not talked a lot” he murmured. True. They have never had a real talk because, seriously, the longest conversation he had heard from Baekhyun’s lips were barely audible whispers, curses, and noisy moans.

“really? I thought you were close” Chanyeol pointed out, arching a brow. Chanyeol could have that face but he was not an idiot, he knew what he was doing.

“What are you talking about? We get along really well, right Tao?” he said smiling, hitting playfully but forcefully Zitao on the arm.

“Ouch” Zitao looked at him with disbelief, hitting him back.

Baekhyun really offended hit him one more time telling him that “you’re not supposed to hit me back”.

Chanyeol laugh rang in his ears

“Alright kids, let’s go” said Sehun sharing with Chanyeol the biggest mocking grin he had ever seen before standing up and leaving the restaurant.

After that time, inevitably they had started knowing about each other more, not because he wanted to but because Zitao’s text messages that were mostly stupid lame jokes that only demonstrated how weird and different Zitao was from the Zitao he knew between the sheets.

They even started chatting face to face at parties or when they were dragged by their friends to the same places, casual conversations before things got more _physical_ between them, because if he wanted to keep sleeping with him at least he could _pretend_ he was interested in some way in Zitao.

Which he was not. At all.

At this point, he knew that Zitao was a big fan of hip-hop and liked to rap but he also could sing, that he played guitar and piano and that just like Chanyeol he would like to produce songs one day. He also knew that Zitao’s best friends were Sehun and Yifan, that he practiced wushu and that he had moved to Korea when he was sixteen and he only knew a few words, and that yes, he cried a lot but only when it comes to his family and friends and things he really cares about.

On the other hand, even when Baekhyun didn’t want to get too personal with him, Zitao knew that Jongdae and Chanyeol were his best friends but that also Junmyeon and Kyungsoo were really close to him, that he was very passionate towards music and that he really loved to sing and that he was loud and a prankster and loved to laugh and mock people to the point of becoming annoying.

They could chat for hours and Zitao’s horribles jokes could make him smile and laugh at his phone to the point where Chanyeol had to make a remark about his recent change of mood, and smiles and texts he was sending all the time and “are you sexting Zitao?” to which he could only tell him to “fuck off”.

And, maybe, maybe Baekhyun was starting to _feel things_ he shouldn’t feel, it was not too late to stop all this, to stop seeing Zitao before it was too late but then again Zitao was so good and Baekhyun couldn’t be so selfish to deny himself a good laid, but it was okay, Baekhyun thought, it’s fine. He could just ignore them, he could just shove those feelings off because obviously, they both were so much better for the night time. He knew it was a dangerous game, that at the end the joke could be on him, he knew it but nothing really stopped him from keep playing.

 

 The cold weather winter had brought with it made Baekhyun hands go numb while he typed the last words of the conclusion of one of his last final projects.

There were some weeks before classes were over he was still struggling with some late assignments he had to finish. He looked briefly to the window, to the midnight dark sky but still visible heavy clouds covering the ground with snow, a shiver running through his body.

He closed his laptop placing it aside, adjusting the thick blankets around his body better.

He looked down to his right, admiring the peaceful body lying beside him; Zitao sleeping quietly, maybe for the first time in weeks, pouty lips, messy hair and nose red from the cold.

He had come when there was still light outside, his eyebags more prominent and hands and feet cold.

Baekhyun took pity on him, telling him to lay down a little bit while he finished his paper. A little bit turned in hours and Zitao inevitably fell asleep and Baekhyun just didn’t have the heart to wake him up and tell him to go home. Baekhyun realized he had been such a good person lately because this was no the first time this had happened. Whether it was after they were done with their _stuff_ and Baekhyun was still tired and wanted to sleep more because it was freezy outside and Zitao’s body was warm against him or that he was too considerate to not ask Zitao to leave right away because he was okay with Zitao staying here for a couple of hours until it was not so cold outside anymore.

Lately, when Zitao comes to Baekhyun's apartment he is so cold and all Baekhyun wants is to do is to warm him a little bit because he must be freezing, so they lay in bed, sometimes they talk, they laugh, sometimes they just fall asleep and sometimes they are too tired to even fuck so they hold each other and he lets Zitao’s head rest on his shoulder and his arms to surround him because Zitao’s hands are cold and his socks feel cold against Baekhyun calves and _he is such a good person lately_. Baekhyun had blamed it all on the weather.

 

If there was something that Baekhyun hated more than receiving Zitao’s messages with lame jokes was not receiving them at all. Maybe they were really close to being friends, maybe they were really far from being that but he hated, he really hated that Zitao didn’t give him the attention he needed.

For example, sometimes when they were together with their friends, at first Zitao could not really pay any attention to him, practically ignoring him. Baekhyun could make some joke and everyone would laugh, even Zitao would laugh but when Baekhyun turned to look at him and laugh together he would choose to laugh with someone else about it and how does it make any sense? All it did was to made Baekhyun look like he was too needy for Zitao’s attention, according to Jongdae who was a witness to his failed attempts, but everything started going downfall from there. Then it was the lack of messages; it was okay, Zitao didn’t have to text him all the time. He was still okay with the fact that Zitao didn’t give him the attention he deserves. It was okay, really, it was but suddenly Zitao was telling him that they couldn’t meet because he was busy and had other things to do.

It was okay, at first, then Zitao told him he was going to be with Sehun or Luhan but he had already been with both of them and Zitao was nowhere to be seen. I mean, he didn’t mind that Zitao didn’t want to keep their thing going, but why to lie? At the end, this is what Baekhyun wanted, right? not getting involved, no feelings, no friendship, he should be grateful, he really should but he couldn't help that uncomfortable twist in his gut.

The next time he saw Zitao was at the library. Zitao was on a table with a book splayed in front of him, taking notes on his laptop. Baekhyun should ignore him and go straight to do what he came here to do but he can’t deny that lately he hadn’t been laid and Zitao is really good in what he does to Baekhyun in bed and maybe he can allow himself to be a little pathetic.

Baekhyun carefully sat on the chair next to Zitao, the later turning briefly to see him but continuing typing. “You’re lost?” he mumbled without moving his stare from the screen, Baekhyun hooked one leg under himself and turned to fully face Zitao, pushing his body closer to him “maybe you could take me back to your dorm” he whispered in Zitao’s ear. “Baekhyun,” he lifted his hand to reach Zitao’s nape, grazing his neck with his fingers. “Stop” he warned, sighing, but he didn’t.

It was understandable, maybe all Zitao wanted was to study and finish his paper, but that hadn’t been a problem before. He placed his other hand on Zitao’s upper thigh, moving slowly towards north areas. “Stop!” he hissed, turning to face Baekhyun for the first time in weeks. It wasn’t like he used to stare at Baekhyun. In his stare there was not warmth, nor joy or excitement, it wasn’t anger either, it was exasperation, annoyment, hopelessness. And it was incredible, it almost made him laugh to realize how from having everything, he didn’t have anything anymore.

“Um, Tao. Are you done?” he barely heard in the quietness of the library. He retracted himself a little bit from Zitao, giving him the liberty to move freely away from him.

He didn’t have the power to turn to see the owner of that voice, he already knew it was Jongin anyways. He didn’t want to see the pettiness and the confusion in his eyes.

“Yeah” he answered, standing and gathering all his things, leaving him there without giving him a second look. Perhaps at the end, it had not really been worthed to be so pathetic.

 

But as if there was a force pulling them together, the last time they were together in the same room things were a little bit different. At first, he saw Zitao with his friends just chilling, drinking andlaughing, a little bit later Zitao was already with someone else on the couch, very close to each other, and the next time he saw him he was dancing with this guy. His eyes would have permanent damage if he rolled his eyes one more time to the scene he was watching. It was so typical of Zitao, so cheesy, so boring, so _him._

It was nothing wild or explicit, just both of them dancing, close, laughing and smiling and whispering and _ugh_ , Baekhyun wanted to throw up. He should be doing the same, grinding against someone on the dancefloor, giving a fuck about everything, but here he was, pathetically staring at them, drinking from an almost empty bottle of tequila he found on the kitchen, tastebuds fighting against the sharp burning flavor of the liquid.

Zitao was far away from tipsy when he came over to him later that night, holding tightly a cup in his hand. His eyes were half-lidded and there was a permanent smirk owning his shiny lips “were you enjoying the view?” he teased, leaning himself against the wall crossing his legs at the ankle and staring sideways at him. Baekhyun scoffed, smiling a little bit “are you dating someone?” he asked bluntly, his stare still glued to somewhere ahead of him, “that’s the reason why you suddenly wanted to stop?” he added, pressing for an answer, glancing briefly at him “I mean, I don’t care”

“sure, you don’t” he whispered smiling before sipping his drink

“but at least you could have come clean and tell me” he complained, turning to face him completely. “Was I really that bad?” he pressed on quirking a brow, grinning.

Zitao hummed, reaching to circle Baekhyun’s wrist with his fingers “I’m not sure, It’s been a while”.

The next thing he knows is Baekhyun convincing him to go to his place just to remember the good times, at least for one last time.

 

Baekhyun was pinned against his bed, dropping eagerly his head to the side giving Zitao more access to lick and suck at his neck. He felt full of desperation and need and a feeling of relief to finally have Zitao hands traveling through his body and his lips kissing him so roughly but so tenderly at the same time. Zitao’s hands held him steady on his hips as he guided him to turn both of them around in order for Baekhyun to straddle his hips to ride him. There was a sharp intake of breath when Zitao finally buried his dick inside of him. He hissed and let out a content humming, feeling so full, placing his hands on Zitao’s chest to hold himself steady as he started to grind down on him, moving his hips in circular motions while Zitao watched him bouncing and using his cock to chase his own release. Zitao slid his hands on Baekhyun’s hips to his ass, squeezing and giving a sharp slap on one cheek, sending shivers and pleasure through all his body. Zitao’s arms came to Baekhyun’s back, holding him tight and bending him over him, helping him to sink down further on Zitao’s cock, meeting his thrust halfway as he started fucking him at a quick peace while breathing harshly through his nose, whispering nonsense, lips moving against Baekhyun’s cheek. Baekhyun’s dick was trapped between both of their stomachs, rubbing constantly and making his toes curl with pleasure, making him moan and whimper as pleasure washed over both of them.

Zitao was on his stomach looking as Baekhyun fell asleep curled next to him. Maybe, Baekhyun thought, there was no harm in letting Zitao stay for the night one last time.

 

“I knew it!” Jongdae exclaimed excitedly as he told Baekhyun about seeing him kissing and leaving with Zitao last night as if Baekhyun didn’t remember having had Zitao’s dick down his throat. Even though Jongdae’s voice was louder than it normally was he could still hear Chanyeol’s annoying laugh. “So?” he asked indifferently “we were just fucking. Not a big deal, we’re done”. Yeah, they were done. It would be a different story if it weren’t for Zitao still avoiding him, and ignoring him and denying every invitation of Baekhyun to meet or go to a party or came to his room.

_“Are you coming to the party ???”_

_“too busy”_

_“Yeah, same”_

Ugh, pathetic.

Whatever, he thought. Even though he didn’t feel in the mood to go out, Junmyeon convinced his sorry ass to have some fun; And maybe he was right, he looked so pitiful lately (his friends’ words) maybe what he needed was to go out and dance and drink and find someone to bring home.

Well, it seems that Zitao wasn’t that busy after all, he concluded as he realized Zitao’s presence at the party.

He saw him laughing near the kitchen bar with Yixing after Jongin had left like half an hour ago. To be honest, he felt a little indignant that Zitao had lied to him, was it that hard for him to tell him the truth? And more importantly, was it that hard for Baekhyun to stop pretending he didn’t care?.

He waited until the moment Yixing finally left Zitao alone to approach him, standing near him while reaching for the drinks that were in the table “I thought you said you weren’t coming” he said casually while filling his glass with a mix of drinks, ignoring Zitao’s gaze.

Zitao was looking at him obviously a little bit astonished but with a serious face  “I could swear you told me the same”. He sipped briefly the mix of coke and whiskey, the feeling of his tongue sticky with the alcohol, his jaw tensing and the sudden irritation running through his veins “I don’t have to give you explanations about what I do” he almost murmured, trying to control his emotions as he turned to looked at him.

Zitao snorted “well I’m not the one who came here demanding to know the decisions I take” Baekhyun couldn’t even roll his eyes because what could he really do? He was right and Baekhyun felt so ridiculous about everything right now.

“You really need to get laid” he teased, smiling darkly, and sadly as it sounded, it was true.

He observed him for a few seconds and narrowed his eyes “Are you sure this” he gestured with his finger between them “scene is because of my lack of honesty” he moved closer “or is it just you being jealous?”.

“Oh my god, are you serious” he definitely rolled his eyes this time “you know what? Forget it, you’re right. You’re a dick, I regret—” he intends to say, words rushed together, moving to leave but Zitao took him from the upper arm, looking at him, faces close as he asked him “then why are you here talking to me anyway?” he wanted to hit that stupid face of him just as much as he wanted to kiss him, so he did what his mind, and brain, and _something_ in his chest told him to do. In a more rational moment, a punch would have sounded so much better.

They kiss desperately, pressing Zitao against the kitchen bar giving a fuck who was near looking at them, and inevitably as if fate was playing an important role there that night, they went to Zitao’s place. Even when there was the same intensity and necessity and arousal as always, this time was different. There were marks on his waist, red skin, slow but deep thrust, but there also were intense makeout, deep kisses, sloppy pecks and smiles and warm hands, caresses, long touches; the room filled with sighs, and laughter, the ghost of words not pronounced and the unwanted awareness of them.

Sometimes it is better to live in the ignorance than facing the truth because sometimes you don’t know want to accept your own truth, the one you have been aware of all this time.

So when Zitao told him that night that he really liked him while he was falling asleep Baekhyun didn’t mention anything. The next thing he knows is himself awake, taking his clothes as fast as he can and listening Zitao calling his name as he closes the door behind him.

_“Baekhyun?”_

_“Is this because of what I said?”_

 

“Are you going to keep avoiding me?”

He was done with lectures of that day and was ready to head to his room, probably to sleep all day and play video games and just clear his mind. That was his plan until Zitao came to trouble him more.

“I thought it was pretty obvious” he scoffed “Look, if you want to keep our thing and fuck we could go—”

“I don’t want to fuck I want to talk” he interrupted “listen, if all this is because of what I said  the other night I— I don’t know, I just— I thought it was easy for me to say how I feel”

“Well, I certainly don’t remember asking for your emotional issues. Don’t think just because I’m sleeping with you there’s _something_ else between us” he informed him, sighing “We are just fucking, Tao, having a good time and now, damn!” he exclaimed with an exasperated laugh “damn…” he trailed off “what a good way to ruin everything...”

The frown on Zitao’s face grew deeper, he couldn’t believe what he was just hearing “I’m not stupid, Baekhyun” he tells him “I don’t know who are you trying to fool and why” Zitao’s eyes were already glistening, and no, Baekhyun couldn’t dare to witness this. Fortunately, Zitao shifted his gaze to everything but Baekhyun, not daring to look at him anymore. It was better this way, giving him the opportunity and easiness to look at Zitao freely, maybe for the last time. “There was _something else”_ he mumbled, directing his stare to him, looking directly into his eyes, and it scared Baekhyun how the more Zitao looked at him, the more he felt he would be able to look inside him “more than just attraction and need of temporal satisf—”

Baekhyun just laughed “if _that_ is what you are looking for you are obviously searching in the wrong place”

Zitao stared at him for a moment, maybe a minute or an eternity trying to read him, trying to figure him out, to understand why, why. Defeated, he gave him a last bittersweet side smile and said: “it’s good to know that”.

Instantly regret was what Baekhyun was feeling at that exact moment. He just couldn’t go after Zitao and apologize because he was _Baekhyun_ and he didn’t apologize. Why apologize? He didn’t feel the same. He didn’t feel as Tao did.

It’s not necessary to say that after that day they don’t talk ever again.

Obviously, they see each other again several times after that dramatic episode of his life, but they never talk, just as strangers.

He continued seeing him in parties, or school or meetings speaking and laughing with their mutuals friends. They were like those friends with which you share your best friends with, but they are not your friends.

 

“stop moping around”

Baekhyun was laying on his stomach, cellphone in hand and ship bag beside him as Chanyeol entered to his room directly to his closet

“I’m not moping” he murmured against the pillow

“you are totally moping” Jongdae pointed out as he joined them

“Have you made up your mind yet about Tao?” Chanyeol casually asked, searching between Baekhyun’s clothes for something to steal

“What does he has to do with this?”

Chanyeol gave him a look “really?” 

“did he mentioned something?” he asked defeated but Chanyeol shook his head, he quirked a brow

“duh” he rolled his eyes. Sehun, of course. “Besides, is not that hard to notice how awkward you two are around each other”

“Yeah, “ said Jondae said peeking his head out “how you two are always too busy throwing stares at each other to even notice it. It’s funny” he added as he took a bottom-up shirt and left the room, Chanyeol walking behind him and briefly stopping to comment “by the way, Sehun says your a dick”

“get out of here”

 

He was not in the mood to go out, but just as other times he only went out to torture himself seeing Zitao go on with his life, not even trying to ignore him as it came so naturally from him to dance and drink and have a good time with other guys as it was before they started sleeping together. He just couldn’t help the angry weirdness and uncomfortable feeling in his gut he felt seeing him with his life as normal while he just couldn’t move on.

 

And just like an old boring joke —a joke that was obviously on him— that night, on a party in Junmyeon’s house, he sees Zitao again. He was sat on the back porch stairs, his fingers tracing over the red plastic cup filled with beer. For a moment Baekhyun hesitated, seeing Zitao there alone looking at nothing. It must be the alcohol already on his bloodstream and brain and chest because he lets himself fall heavy by his side letting a loud and tired sigh out, the sides of their knees brushing against the each other. Zitao turned his head towards him and looked all but surprised, Baekhyun pulled some grass from the ground tearing it in little pieces, trying to keep his hands from shaking.

Tao looked incredibly hot as always and so glowy and beautiful, long fingers tapping gently the side of the cup on his hand, and maybe, _maybe_ Baekhyun felt the need to caress the smooth skin there and perhaps to hold them, to tell him to leave together because he needs _it_. And Baekhyun fights against the realization that it is neither that he feels rejected nor that his pride had been hurt or the need of sleeping together, it is more than that. He doesn’t need it, he needs him. He does miss Zitao and needs him more than what he dares himself to accept.

But then again who dared Huang Zitao to act like Baekhyun never had existed when Zitao himself was the only one having feelings for him in the first place? They were only fucking, Baekhyun shouldn’t think about him anymore. He should not even be here in the first place. But right now Baekhyun feels like begging to him at the given opportunity to say _please, take me home. Take me. Need me._

Baekhyun face and mind were blank, ignoring his own dry mouth, his sweaty hands still playing with what was left of the grass, picking up the little remaining pieces of himself; his pride, his confidence, his disguise– laying just right next to his dignity– he said, looking ahead “Not seeing you there inside I thought you had already left”

Zitao, however, head tilted slightly to one side, was still looking at him; a playful smirk reflected on his lips filled with amusement, all heavy eyelids and deep stare gleaming something evil “I’m surprised you’re here” maintaining his stare on Baekhyun for a moment but finally removing his eyes from him, sighing deeply “what are you doing here Baek?”

“I don’t know” he answered honestly, both turning to stare at each other, eyes finally meeting.

Zitao’s eyes were pleading for something, and Baekhyun knew, he had known all this time for what because he was pleading for it too.

He took Zitao’s face with his hands, his noses brushing as Zitao’s hands came to lay above his. If he could talk, if he could open up his heart and let the words out. “I want you to take me home with you”. If he could.

“I’m here” Zitao murmured. He is here. Home is here.

And he kissed him.

Hot mouths demanding cold lips. Finally. Relief, fear, contentment, _something_. “I like you” he whispered against his mouth.

“I know.”

That night both go home with their pockets full of sound.

They spend the night under the mattress, Zitao’s warm body leaning against him from behind, hands holding around his stomach and soft and sweet breathing against his ear.

Maybe they could skip the friends part and go straight to the date things, awkward holding hands, and kissing without an apparent reason. Yeah, he definitely would like that.

**Author's Note:**

> If you are here is because you read all and didn't get bored (I hope so) so thank youuuuu! English is my second language so please forgive all mistakes.  
> Last part is a little bit inspired by Heart-mouth by Sam Behymer.
> 
> Find me on twitter as @onederlandx


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